I have this thing I do: the Ding. Whenever I have a kick ass idea, which is actually pretty often (it’s my ability to follow through that needs to catch up), Ding! Whenever I all of a sudden come up with a great solution for a problem someone’s having, Ding! Or when I’ve just accomplished something great. If I ever make a basket in the trash with a balled up piece of paper, Ding! The Ding is my swish, my epiphany moment expressed.
Well I just had a great Ding moment.
My armpits are clammy. Gross I know. Interviews, conversations with people I don’t know who expect something of me and let’s face it, not being in control, make me nervous.
My girlfriend sent me two Craig’s List jobs she thought I should apply to; I didn’t get to them for a few days but finally applied Thursday and got a callback Friday before noon. I didn’t follow up on the message they left for over 24 hours. Not because I was too busy but because I was a bit apprehensive about traditional, regular employment (even if it was only ~10hrs/week). Put me on a film set (which is what most of my adult life has consisted of) where I’ll have to work 12-14 hour days and look for a new gig every two to four weeks…sign me up.
Two things about this particular gig scared me shitless: #1 It was a regular job with a BOSS. And I hate bosses. #2 The title of the position is “Personal Assistant”. Images flash in front of my eyes of The Devil Wears Prada and Ugly Betty: late nights, weird personal errands, and the loss of one’s social life and perhaps dignity. Don’t get me wrong; I know that this is not reality. It is for some but not most. There are plenty of people that are perfectly content, perhaps delighted, to have such a job and I’ve met a few. Usually pays well, decent connections and sometimes you get paid in cash. But I have never thought of myself as one of those people.
Got on the phone with the woman who was hiring. Turns out she is the bookkeeper/long-term right hand for a major Hollywood director/producer. Luckily for me he’s more of an entrepreneur type and not a “Suit” (the type of person that makes everyone on set shrink back into their corners and focus on their work more than usual just to avoid eye contact). We had a great preliminary interview and I have a 4pm face to face this afternoon. Ding!
Before the conversation came to a close I asked her to tell me a bit about him, she gave me his name and then asked “Have you seen garble, garble, garble? That was his brain child.” I had no idea what she said so I just said “No” to be safe. Lying makes me queasy. Directly after we get off the phone I’m typing in the info just to see what (or who) I’m up against. “Holy ****. Yeah…that was a BIG film. What have I gotten myself in to.” But I still hadn’t seen it. So we’re good there. I knew what was in the DVD player that night.
So what did this entry have to do with debt? Not much really except perhaps an illustration of why I’m in it. Stubborn. Adverse to change. Scared.
My girlfriend (who has lived many lives previous to meeting me, one being that of an assistant career counselor) reminds me that “You can always walk away. Up until and after the moment they give you an offer. And it’s always good to be in a position to say ‘I have other offers.'”
I’m not sure if you would call them “offers” per se. I do have two long-term fundraisers I’m managing and several personal (and hopefully income generating) projects I’m prepping for launch. Do those count? I sure do have a lot going on for someone who isn’t making any money. It’s been like 18 months of that. I’m looking for a change.
Ding? Anyone? Hello?