Two nights ago, I attended an event where my NLP instructor was speaking. Sometimes I need a refresher and it’s good to see my peeps. Afterward I spoke with a classmate, now friend, about her dwindling client base. She’s a physical trainer with an amazing physique and super outgoing personality. I’ve seen her in action so in my mind there is no doubt that she could have as many clients as she wanted. After talking for a few minutes she basically said her heart just wasn’t in it.
The next morning I was, for some unknown reason, thinking about my old job at the marketing firm. The office manager was surprised about my resignation and has asked me why many times since. Truly that list was very long and what I’m realizing is that new reasons have continued to come to my attention over the last 3 months since I left. The farther I get from the situation and the more I evolve in my own life philosophy, the more I see things I didn’t see before. A loss of passion for instance.
What I AM finding myself increasingly more passionate about however is this planet and the role I play in making it a better (or worse) place than I found it. I spent a LOT of time yestarday (probably 3+ hrs) having an internal dialogue about why I’m moving in the direction of more sustainable living. I use to do this when I had to think of log lines or a good synopses for a movie I was working on, or was practicing for a presentation, or formulating an elevator pitch for my business or that of a client. Going through as if you were being interviewed or having to explain something to someone who has no clue yields quite different results. It also reveals to me which are good reasons and which are superficial excuses.
For example, why I want to move: I pay half the rent & utilities but only use 30-40% of the space (I never touch the living room) and dont care if I’m a bit chilly or sweaty so we would use less in utilities if it were up to me. This is a legitimate reason. I dont like other humans in my space 24/7 unless were dating, my landlord is incompitent and refuses to replace anything broken and I cant invite people over because this place is 40 years out of date and im embarrassed. These are all true yet not the most legitimate of reasons.
I really wanted to get to the bottom of it all…I examined my behavior, my preferences, phobias and vanities, tried my best to wade through my own bullshit, focus on my beliefs, what I could do without…it was quite enlightening and the results were great. Anyway, I’ll dive into it in my next post but before I go…one more word on passion.
I rejoined an old online dating/friending site this week and one of the compatibility questions caught my eye while I was sizing up a potential date.
Which makes for a better relationship? Passion or Dedication.
My answer was Dedication. Most people my age opt for the prior but the site leaves a section where you can add an explanation if you are feeling like you need to make excuses for yourself…so I did.
“I believe in both/and, not either/or. That being said I think dedication can get you through the times where you lack passion more than passion can get you through times you lack dedication. You dig?”
After these last few days, feeling so passionate about some things, I’m seriously reexamining my answer. It’s certainly something to ponder.