:)

Something overcame me last night, a moment of weakness, and I watched a film that seemed…just kinda angry. Well, not the film but the characters. It was funny, honest, sad and quirky but definitely like watching a war of the classes in a microcosm. I fell asleep halfway through and finished watching it this morning. Then I received a rather unpleasant text, kinda angry…just like the movie. What a downer…

These days I am a decently happy person. I’m pretty even keeled, some would call me mellow and although I am told I’m a difficult read, I’m standing somewhere on the more happy half of the emotional scale most of the time. But I remember the first time I realized I was an unhappy person. Not angry, just an angsty teen, turned hermity college student, turned workaholic LA resident. There was a point, I honestly can’t remember when, either way it was was several years ago, at which I became more happy and therefore noticed more often when I was in fact unhappy. The juxtaposition of existing resentfully and living joyously, even if only for moments few and far between was enlightening and I’ve been mostly-effortlessly evolving into a more happy person ever since. I look back on that moment and I am grateful.

So after finishing the movie and receiving that text I first decided that today’s movie would be something more optimistic, The Future We Will Create: Inside the World of TED, which has been in my Netflix queue for a while. Second, choosing to stew in my totally freakin doneness with the whole situation for 10 minutes, I punched out a few paragraphs on my laptop to vent and simply ignored the text.

 All the while I’m having an internal dialogue with my Higher Self:

“My communication is the response I get. The text topic is relevant and actionable but the tone has nothing to do with me. Nothing happening in this moment has anything to do with this moment but is past experiences being projected onto this moment. But each and every moment is a new moment and there is an infinite number of possibilities for how I can respond, what I can say and the actions I can take. With all these things in mind what will I choose to do next?”

It reminded me to simply be more nice, more often. There is a moment in every situation, whether it be talks between nations, in businesses interactions or between family members, where communications can either stay negotiable or can jump to a more emotional, tense interaction or totally fall apart and become hostile. There is always a decision made on the part of an individual, group or between groups that takes it to that next level, good or bad.

What if I chose to respond in the same tone I was approached with? The possibilities and ridiculousness of it all actually makes me giddy to think about. To be so intensely conscious of myself and my thoughts in that moment I imagined myself and that relationship after a negative response…it didn’t look good even though I would have felt vindicated. Then I turning the channel, so to speak, and in living out the higher choice decided to take action and correct the issue, half of which had nothing to do with me and just not respond to the text. I’ve been all smiles ever since. And the great thing about it is that it IS a choice and all choices have a chain reaction. After this choice I reacted to 3 other communications this morning that had the potential to become negative or tense or difficult and just decided to be nice, generous and grateful. And hopefully those positive interactions will multiply.

I look back on the last week and I’ve had these “higher choice” moments a few times but was unconscious that I was doing it. Which means that I am integrating it. And that makes me happy…

There are an infinite number of possibilities of what you can do today, what you can say and how you can say it. And whatever you do will cause a chain reaction that will affect this planet more that you know. What choices will you make?

-Half-Price

Old Habits

Last week I emptied my refrigerator. I’ve been needing to do this for weeks, months even. I had stuff in there from my mom’s visit in late October and other food that was gifted to me for Christmas. Yikes! One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I am forgetful especially if I don’t have a specific place to file stuff in my brain. If I didn’t personally buy it, need it and make meal plans for it I forget it’s even in there. Sad but that’s just how my brain works…I’m getting use to it.

A few posts ago I spoke about passion, preferences and habits. So there are a few I am adopting. Some for the planet, others for myself, and some I even practice or at least use to but not regularly enough for them to make a significant impact. Experts say it takes a certain amount of time to integrate new habits and that you should never try to integrate more than one at a time. But then again I could never keep my car clean until I had an accident, went through the entire buying process on my own and bought a new one. Now my car is always clean. My point is I don’t think it’s the multitasking that makes new habits not stick but rather that there isn’t a dramatic enough change in environment to jar the old habit loose and reinstate a new one. So out with the old in with the new:

#1. Give Away Food

When I go to Trader Joe’s and get a great deal on the biggest bag of tiny oranges that I couldn’t get through in 2 weeks if I tried I will hand them out to the homeless that I pass at traffic lights. I did this once when I had a bag that I couldn’t eat all by myself and thought it was a much better idea than giving away money. And everyone was super happy and grateful. There is also the quandary of “do I really want to get the rest of this to go when I know that tortilla is gonna be soggy and disgusting by morning?” I HATE leaving food on the plate at restaurants so I always get it to go but some stuff simply wont last even in a fridge…wet burritos are one example or anything starchy that is gonna have to sit next to something liquid. You get my drift. So I feel like this might be a good opportunity to give it to someone on my way home. Instead of asking for money I’ve been asked to buy stuff by people waiting outside a fast food place so I think this is similar. The food, although cold at that point, is still fresh and hopefully good quality and a decent portion since it came from a restaurant. I will have to figure out the utensils though. Plastic? The dollar store sells 4 stainless steel forks for a dollar. I may get a pack or two just for this as a test. Same goes for stuff in my fridge that I know I just wont get around to. Better than it going to waste in a dump.

#2. Let the Toilet Flush Itself

Go with me here. You can skip to the next habit but if you can tolerate it I would say this is worth reading. So I had to pee in the middle of the night a while back but didn’t want to wake my roommate so I didn’t flush. I come back in the morning and it’s like it never happened. I thought to myself…hmm, that’s curious. I know most things don’t evaporate that quickly so I assumed it just made its way down the drain over time somehow. And then a strange thing happened. My toilet started to run. Most new toilets run every few hours on their own. That cycles a good amount of water through the system in addition to the water used for each flush (mine is 2.5 gallons/flush) and does in fact work exactly like a regular flush just with very little force. So I’ve been “not flushing” liquids for about a week now and it totally works! I still come back to an empty bowl every time (except for the paper). I have a couple friends who go by the rule “if it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down” regularly. I think it’s worth a try just as an experiment if nothing else. If your toilet runs at random times give it a shot. Of course #2’s are treated as toxic waste and should be flushed. Now I will admit still always flushing on the rare occasion that my roommate is around. Even though we don’t share a bathroom I don’t want her to think I’m unclean. I may have a conversation soon with her explaining my findings.

#3. Stuff Exchange (for accumulation elimination)

A lot of people who practice voluntary simplicity shop by this rule: “buy one, give one away”. A friend of a friend is taking her daughter shopping for clothes this weekend because she gave away two bags of clothes to good will last week. Like I keep saying I don’t buy that much so I think my best and easiest way to integrate this is with food. I finish a box of cereal I can buy a package of pasta. Crude example but you get the picture. Even though I want to eat everything I buy sometimes my plans for consumption don’t quite line up with how long things last in the fridge and I end up wasting it because it went bad a few days after I opened the package. I am only one person so this means a lot of trips to the store and eating a lot of the same thing for a few days straight. I kinda already do this so…no change there. I just want to be more conscious of the timing of my purchases so that I don’t waste things simply because I couldn’t eat it fast enough. I also have a Macy’s gift card I want to make good use of so this is the perfect time for a closet cleanse.

#4. 15 Minute Daily Cleanup

When friends visit, when my mom’s in town or when it’s hot or cold enough that I want to let some air circulate by leaving the door open my room is immaculate. Otherwise there are clothes piles. And shoes piles. And luggage. I have a habit of not ever completely unpacking. If I’m going to live in a tiny house or downsize at all I’m going to have to consistently keep my room clean. I had a 15 minute daily cleanup routine that got away from me a while back so I’ll be reinstating that. The great thing is, if done daily it doesn’t take but a few minutes and the rest of the time I can organize, wash dishes, etc. And the main culprits are clothes so I think getting rid of the useless 2/3 of my wardrobe and moving the remainder of my clothes from one side, behind my desk chair and far from my bed closer to the door where I get dressed anyway will make me more likely to hang jackets and belts up immediately and anything else I can wear more than once instead of putting them on the back of the chair. Shoes are one issue though. Door/closet shoe hangers aren’t cute but they work. This may be a solution to look into. Overall, clean is sexy and I won’t have to stress about cleaning up for an impromptu houseguest so…I think this one will do me a lot of good.

#5. Inspirational & Educational Audio

Hot talk radio has been around forever; less political and way more edgy and comedic than regular talk radio but usually still hitting on the big news topics of the day. I’ve been listening to Heidi and Frank (Frosty, Heidi and Frank) for about 4 years now and I haven’t missed a show in well over 3 years. These days they’ve created their own network online where they broadcast live each day and they have on demand podcasting so I listen to old episodes all day and sometimes go to sleep with it on. I am a devout fan but I will admit it’s probably one of my worst habits. It’s not the listening that’s inherently bad but more the topics they talk about. Not only is it hard to get stuff done because I’m actually trying to actively listen but their topics aren’t always the most uplifting. They are self-deprecating, everything and everyone is a target for a joke and their events are pretty much a kegger combined with a live radio show. I love you HF but you are no good for me. I won’t stop listening entirely but for working hours it’s probably for the best. Technically, classical music is the way to go but sometimes I need a bit more substance especially if I’m doing mindless work. So I’ve started listening to TED Talks instead. Most are 10-20 minutes each and are educational and inspirational. They are equally as distracting especially because I’m learning something but I figure it’s helping to balance out whatever negative energy HF puts off. I also listen to the 4-Hour Workweek, The Secret, and interviews from Niurka or Michael Bernard Beckwith. As cheesy as The Secret is I am the most productive when I listen to it. I’ve heard all of these so many times they are no longer distracting but just background noise so I am still getting the benefit of the topics and the tracks are wordy enough to keep me interested.

So that’s it. A little bit of everything. I’ll report any interesting findings.

Passion: where can I get some of what you’ve got…

Two nights ago, I attended an event where my NLP instructor was speaking. Sometimes I need a refresher and it’s good to see my peeps. Afterward I spoke with a classmate, now friend, about her dwindling client base. She’s a physical trainer with an amazing physique and super outgoing personality. I’ve seen her in action so in my mind there is no doubt that she could have as many clients as she wanted. After talking for a few minutes she basically said her heart just wasn’t in it.

The next morning I was, for some unknown reason, thinking about my old job at the marketing firm. The office manager was surprised about my resignation and has asked me why many times since. Truly that list was very long and what I’m realizing is that new reasons have continued to come to my attention over the last 3 months since I left. The farther I get from the situation and the more I evolve in my own life philosophy, the more I see things I didn’t see before. A loss of passion for instance.

What I AM finding myself increasingly more passionate about however is this planet and the role I play in making it a better (or worse) place than I found it. I spent a LOT of time yestarday (probably 3+ hrs) having an internal dialogue about why I’m moving in the direction of more sustainable living. I use to do this when I had to think of log lines or a good synopses for a movie I was working on, or was practicing for a presentation, or formulating an elevator pitch for my business or that of a client. Going through as if you were being interviewed or having to explain something to someone who has no clue yields quite different results. It also reveals to me which are good reasons and which are superficial excuses.

For example, why I want to move: I pay half the rent & utilities but only use 30-40%  of the space (I never touch the living room) and dont care if I’m a bit chilly or sweaty so we would use less in utilities if it were up to me. This is a legitimate reason. I dont like other humans in my space 24/7 unless were dating, my landlord is incompitent and refuses to replace anything broken and I cant invite people over because this place is 40 years out of date and im embarrassed. These are all true yet not the most legitimate of reasons.

I really wanted to get to the bottom of it all…I examined my behavior, my preferences, phobias and vanities, tried my best to wade through my own bullshit, focus on my beliefs, what I could do without…it was quite enlightening and the results were great. Anyway, I’ll dive into it in my next post but before I go…one more word on passion.

I rejoined an old online dating/friending site this week and one of the compatibility questions caught my eye while I was sizing up a potential date.

Which makes for a better relationship? Passion or Dedication.

My answer was Dedication.  Most people my age opt for the prior but the site leaves a section where you can add an explanation if you are feeling like you need to make excuses for yourself…so I did.

“I believe in both/and, not either/or. That being said I think dedication can get you through the times where you lack passion more than passion can get you through times you lack dedication. You dig?”

After these last few days, feeling so passionate about some things, I’m seriously reexamining my answer. It’s certainly something to ponder.